So today me and my mom went to pick up some of my grand mother's clothes at my aunts place, since she died last month we are looking at what stuff should we keep and what to give up to good will.
I practicly didn't do anything the whole day but when we were there i really felt as if i was with her, something in the smell of her things reminded me of her, having the clothes that i saw her wearing is really weird. I can really feel her with me.
It is really hard, i guess most people live far from their grandparents or they are just not used to see them very often, but i think i was really close to both of them. I got to share lots of important but also "everyday" things with them. Having only my mom's parents it's been really hard loosing them, since i never met my dad's parents.
I was used to them.
I got so used to the idea of having them in my life that i didn't realize i might loose them soon and that's what happened at the end. They left and i lost my chance of many things i said i would do later, like cooking for them, drive them to anywhere they needed and so many more things, small things but big for me.
Now they are both gone and i get only a memory, there is not a "grandparents place" anymore, there is not "lets tell tita about this" anymore, there is not "are we going this week for dinner?" anymore. So many things are gone with them, and it feels so sad.
I know this is life, but i would rather like to be the one leaving that to see them leave. It is just too hard.
No comments:
Post a Comment